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She said, “I love you.”“I love you, too, but I also have an unrelated question. Are you going to fuck your boss again any time soon?”Dave laughed, “Good question.” He looked at Alice.Alice felt put on the spot. She mumbled, “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. I was so focused on everything that happened on Tuesday and Tuesday night with him, I never thought beyond that, other than praying that I wouldn’t get fired.”Pam smirked, “If you feel on solid ground now, and it sounds like you are, I have a naughty suggestion.”“What?” Alice said.“Let’s you and I stand by the pool and have Dave take a picture of us – naked and provocative, of course. Once you’re at work, you text it to Roy Goodman again and then see what happens.” She gave a devilish grin.The room stilled with the silence that followed, and then Alice slowly broke into a wide grin. She mused, “I really like the way you think.” She turned to her husband, “Dave, what do you think?”“I think you should give me your phone so. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?”The man said, “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.The Australian woman came to him and said, “Have you ever been fucked?”The.
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